Having been involved in a national restructuring process recently, I can confirm that all notions of fairness, humanity, logic and objectivity are dropped like a wet shit from the outset.
They are quickly replaced by self-interest, mate-protecting nepotism and an ensuing pantomime of org-charts and red pens.
Lets cut all this unnecessary crap, the Don has the best way to re-structure a company........
Dear Employee,
At a random and unannounced time, the CEO will leave the lift, armed with a basketball. He will throw this at whomsoever he pleases, if this should touch you, you are redundant.
You may make your best efforts to get out of the way of the ball.
Good luck
Human Resources
This carries some great features:
Everyone will be on edge, particularly when the lift opens every 20 - 30 seconds, causing the customary stress, high blood-pressure, coronaries etc. Generally, the cannon fodder sit near the lift and the execs get plenty of warning. It's more logical, fairer, with more chance of the 'protecteds' copping a rebound.... and the CEO gets to walk the floors interacting with his people.
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